Stewart’s Diet Root Beer

Stewarts DietAhhh, Remember the days when diet sodas were believed to be healthy?  I love these comforting nostalgic feelings . . . let me just bask in this for a few minutes while I drink this diet brew . . .

Oh well, on to the review.  I got this bottle from a friend who has provided me with a few root beers already.  The first thing I notice about Stewart’s is the fantastic bottle and label.  When you drink from a bottle like this you simply feel good all over . . . that is until you actually taste it.  Unfortunately, the taste is pretty flat.  Not flat in a carbonation sense, but flat in an overall taste sense.  It’s weird because there are actually a combination of flavors at work in this brew, but when they are combined together it results in a big old pile of flatness.

On a side note, the foam in the root beer was amazing, but the artificial flavoring was pretty amazing as well (in a bad way of course).

The was not obnoxious by any means, but I guess it’s pretty darn close.

The Professor’s Grade:  F

Virgil’s Zero Root Beer

Zero-Root-BeerThat tag line for this root beer is “you’ll swear it’s made in heaven.”  Unfortunately, heaven doesn’t make root beer like they used to.  To be frank, it barely had a root beer taste at all.  It was clouded (probably a result of being made in heaven) with a huge diet taste of stevia rebaudiana leaf extract and that dang GMO-free caramel color.  Truth be told, I’m not on the up and up on the GMO, and this root beer is not really worth the couple of extra minutes to research it.

I do love the fact that it has zero calories and it’s using a sweetener that doesn’t cause years of soft-drink induced cancer.  I actually like diet soda a bit too much and it would be nice to find a tasty alternative.  Virgil’s Zero Root Beer is not that alternative . . .  although it is a really nice alternative for muddy water.

One other thing that I absolutely love about this root beer can be found right on their web-site.  It says, and I quote, “no sugar alcohols that upset your intestines.”  Awesome . . . simply awesome.

Although I’ve never been a huge Virgil’s fan to begin with, I think they have a much “higher standard” to live up to – this brew is a big disappointment.


The Professor’s Grade:  F

Hannaford Diet Root Beer

diethannaford2Get excited now folks – this is your opportunity to read about a store-brand diet root beer! I did this review alone, as I really don’t like to expose the little professors to diet sodas. Although, for the most part this is all I drink – so my diet taste buds are actually quite refined.  Of course, I go into diet sodas in . . . what else “Diet Root Beer 101.”

When I poured the brew it had a pretty impressive root beer color and a pretty impressive head. But when I sipped this beer it went downhill pretty quick. Smack, slam, wake-up – this is one of the nastiest diet flavors that has ever been attached to a root beer.

Pretty bad stuff – but sadly I will drink the rest of the 2 liter bottle. No reason to let a bottle of aspartame go to waste.


The Professor’s Grade:  F

Diet Barq’s Root Beer

dietbarqs2Printed in big bold letters is the phrase “artificially flavored”. It almost seems like they are proud of it . . . in my “Root Beer Psychology” class, Barq’s is a case study on the false sense of “brewvado.”

I have to admit, I do like diet soda, so diet barq’s root beer stands a chance.

Every sip of this brew (I don’t know if it should even be called a brew) gets worse and worse. This actually doesn’t even taste like a root beer – it is sort of fruity with maybe a little bit of a cherry taste. The carbonation, smell, head, and color don’t really even seem to matter – because it doesn’t seem like a root beer to me.

As far as the “dietness” of the taste goes – I have had a lot worse. I don’t sense a lot of the artificial sugar taste – although it does have a bite and I guess part of that could be related to the aspartame. Oh well . . .


The Professor’s Grade:  F

Richfood Root Beer

Lot’s of burps with this terrible excuse for a root beer.  A lot of these generic root beers get the label of being bland, but this isn’t good enough  to be called bland.  There isn’t even a creaminess to redeem this root beer – and it’s not worth writing any more.

Except to say . . . bad root beer . . . bad packaging.

The Professor’s Grade:  F